fic: I’ve Got Some Presents for Santa, and He’s Got a Big One For Me

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Pairing: Chris Colfer/Darren Criss

Rating: NC-17

Notes: So I meant to post this before Christmas, honestly I did. But my life has been busy and my brain has been dead, so this is finally going up now. Better late than never, right? This is ~3,000 words of Christmas smut. Enjoy!

—-

"You know," Chris says, smirking a little as he curls a finger through the fake beard, tugging slightly. "It should be worrying to me that I still find you hot like this."

"Maybe you have a Santa fetish or something," Darren supplies, grinning underneath the mess of white hair covering his face. He’d dressed up to hand out presents to the cast and crew, the last day on set before Christmas break, which had earned him a ton of laughs and a few naughty jokes here and there, mostly supplied by Lea. (She’d asked him if he would stuff her stocking, then if she could suck on his candy cane before laughing, assuring him that it was a joke. He still isn’t sure if it was or not, but he knows the entire experience was disturbing.) He sits on the couch in his trailer now, Chris leaning over him, still dressed in one of his elaborate Kurt outfits. Chris straightens up a little, wagging a finger at Darren, a playful glare on his face.

"Do not even go there," he warns, eyes skimming down Darren’s body hungrily, which causes Darren to shift in a little in his seat. Patting his lap, he smirks up at the other man, quirking one of his eyebrows higher.

"C’mere, why don’t you sit on Santa’s lap and tell him whether you’ve been naughty or nice this year?" Chris raises both his eyebrows, giving him an incredulous look, as if saying ‘you cannot be serious right now’, but he indulges, settling down onto Darren’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck.

"Well, Santa," he starts, a coy look on his face. "The truth is, I’ve tried so very hard to be a good boy. But I just can’t help it.” He gives Darren big puppy dog eyes, his lip pouting out, which makes him look innocent and younger, and he can’t help the way it makes his stomach twist with desire. Slowly, Chris wiggles his ass into Darren’s lap, causing him to bit his lip underneath the beard to keep from moaning as his cock slowly begins to fill and harden. “I’m just a naughty boy.”

"Do you know what naughty boys get for Christmas?" Darren asks in a warning tone, his voice deeper than usual in an attempt to sound more like the jolly character of Santa Claus, though it really just comes out rough and almost desperate. His eyes are dark as he looks at the way Chris’s cheeks flush at the question. There’s something so sexy about him playing innocent, something that makes Darren want to throw him down and absolutely ravage him, and it takes all his willpower to stay in character.

Chris furrows his eyebrows, pouting a little. “Coal?” he guesses, tilting his head and staring into Darren’s eyes. The blue is deep, filled with lust, and it makes Darren’s breath hitch in his throat as he shakes his head no.

"Naughty boys like you…" he starts, leaning in to press his lips against Chris’s ear, the fake hair of the beard pressing against his soft skin. "They get fucked.” He can hear the way Chris whimpers, a breathy high pitched noise that makes Darren bite down hard on his earlobe. There’s a steady stream of ‘oh yes, god yes, please fuck me’ spilling from Chris’s lips as Darren’s tongue soothes over his ear, which causes his cock to twitch hard before he’s smacking at the younger man’s ass, urging him up. Chris knows the signs, knows just what Darren wants him to do, and he’s up and running to grab what they need as Darren tugs the beard off, though the hat still remains on his head.

Grabbing the lube from Chris as he returns, he leans back on the couch, watching him as he strips himself of the complicated costume he’s in. They’ve done this on set enough times that Chris knows Darren doesn’t know how to get the outfits off without breaking something; he recalls a time when he tried to get a jacket off of Chris and ended up having to explain to wardrobe just why all the confusing straps had been torn open, some elaborate lie about Chris and a poisonous spider having crawled up under the jacket. (Darren doesn’t think they bought it.)

When he’s finally down to his boxer-briefs, Chris walks forward, straddling Darren’s legs without sitting down on his lap. His cock is hard and straining underneath the material, a wet spot at the tip, which makes Darren’s mouth water. For a second, he’s distracted by the sight of it, licking his lips as he imagines pulling off his underwear and sucking him down his throat, but then he feels Chris flicking the side of his head, looking down at him with a knowing smirk.

"I know how much you love sucking cock, Santa,” he says, a playful glare on his face. “But you didn’t tell me that naughty boys got blowjobs. You told me naughty boys got fucked. And I’m so, so naughty.” His cock twitches as he speaks, which snaps Darren out of it, looking up at him with his jaw slack before he tugs at the boxer-briefs, watching Chris’s flushed cock smack up to hit his stomach.

"God," Darren breathes out, still in awe of how big Chris is, no matter how many times they’ve had sex. He stares as he reaches blindly for the small bottle of lube, pouring some over his fingers and rubbing them together, warming it up as he tries to resist the urge to lean forward and take his thick length into his mouth. "Turn around," he finally decides, smacking Chris’s hip with his other hand. "You’re too distracting this way." He sees Chris roll his eyes, a smile on his face, before he turns, wiggling his ass toward Darren.

Of course, he’s distracting this way too, but it’s easier because focusing on his ass is what he’s supposed to be doing. Gripping onto one of Chris’s cheeks, he spreads him open, staring at his hole with a smirk before he’s leaning in, flattening his tongue to run it over him. He can hear the strangled gasp Chris makes, clearly not expecting it, which only makes him lick harder, trying to press his tongue into the tight ring of muscle. Just the tip works its way in, which causes Chris to make a noise that Darren wants to spend his entire life replaying in his head. He can feel the younger man rocking back on his tongue, trying to fuck himself on it, and he moans loudly, pulling back and rubbing his fingers over Chris, all of a sudden desperate to be inside of him.

"Start with two, Darren," Chris moans brokenly, clearly as desperate as Darren feels. "And go fast, you don’t need to be careful with me." Darren usually opens him up somewhat slowly, never wanting to hurt him, taking care that he’s really stretched enough before pressing into him because he knows his own cock is thick, but now he thrusts two fingers in quickly, enjoying the way Chris’s back bows and arches as he gets used to the sensation. He watches with a slack jaw the way the younger man’s rim stretches tightly around his wide fingers, working them quickly in and out, loving the tiny broken moans he’s letting out.

"Shit, you’re so tight," he breathes out, momentarily worrying that if he’s not careful enough, he’s really going to hurt Chris. "Are you sure you—"

"Stop worrying," Chris interrupts, looking over his shoulder at Darren, a smile on his lips as his hair falls over his forehead, his face already slightly flushed. "I can take it. Just keep going, okay?" Darren licks his lips, which have dried out slightly, and he nods quickly, moving his fingers faster. When he scissors them, he can feel the stretch around his fingers, confirmed by Chris’s sharp intake of breath, but instead of asking Darren to stop, he fucks back harder onto his hand, as if proving a point that he really can take it.

When Darren curls his fingers up, brushing against his prostate, Chris lets out a loud cry, hands gripping tightly at Darren’s knees and digging his nails in as he braces himself. “More, please,” he whines out, and Darren doesn’t hesitate before pressing in a third finger, watching how he thrusts onto his hand, desperate for it. It’s only another minute, barely time for him to get used to it, before he’s whining, “Fuck me, fuck me, please.”

"God, yes," Darren says immediately, pushing all his worries aside as he slowly slides his fingers out, spinning Chris around as he pours more lube into his hand, slicking his cock up quickly. He’s harder than he realized, his cock flushed deeply and leaking precome, and at the sight of Chris’s hard cock, he moans, tugging him back over him, lining himself up with the other’s stretched hole. "It’s going to burn," he warns, giving Chris one more chance to let him stretch him more.

"Don’t care," Chris whines, wiggling his ass as he lowers himself down. "Stop talking and just put your cock in my ass." Darren lets out a playful gasp, rubbing himself against Chris with a smirk.

"Bossy, bossy," he says with a click of his tongue, lifting his hips to slowly press in.

"It’s because I’m a naughty boy, Santa," Chris purrs, tipping his head back and letting out the most positively sinful noise as Darren fills him up, sitting himself down into his lap, hands gripping tightly onto his shoulders. This is Darren’s absolute favorite position to fuck Chris in; he loves the way he looks when he arches back, loves that he can see Chris’s cock twitch and bounce with every thrust, and he especially loves how good Chris is at riding him.

"Jesus Christ," Darren groans out as soon as Chris bottoms out, his breathing already labored. "You are so fucking tight, it’s unbelievable."

"Mmm, and you’re so big," Chris whimpers, slowly lifting himself up Darren’s cock before slamming back down, crying out loudly. "Fuck, Darren. You feel even thicker than usual like this.” With that, he’s using the leverage from Darren’s shoulders to lift himself up and thrust back down quickly, riding him in the way Darren loves. He lets out a broken whimper of his own, thrusting back up against Chris’s ass, enjoying the way he gasps because of it.

"You’re such a naughty boy, aren’t you, Chris?" Darren growls as he continues to thrust into him, making sure to snap his hips up every time Chris presses down. He knows the younger man, knows how rough he likes it, and especially when he’s pressed in deep. Sometimes Darren worries that even though his cock certainly is thick enough, maybe he’s not long enough to satisfy just how deep Chris likes to be fucked. But at times like these, when Chris is letting out those high-pitched moans, barely able to catch his breath each time Darren thrusts in, he has no doubt in the world that Chris is completely and utterly satisfied. "You just love my big cock filling you up and fucking you, don’t you?"

"Oh god, yes," Chris pants out, rising and falling even harder down onto him. "Shit, Darren. You’re so hot when you dirty talk me like that." Darren can’t help but be a little proud, unable to help the dirty things that come from him when he’s having sex with Chris, and he smirks slowly, licking his lips before letting out a deep moan.

His hands grip tightly onto Chris’s hips, lifting him up and down on his cock, panting heavily at how tight Chris still is around him. “Shit, I love your tight little ass,” Darren moans, staring into Chris’s blue eyes, whimpering loudly. He’s putting on a show now, knowing how much Chris likes the dirty talk, wanting to drive him absolutely crazy. “You ride me like you were born to take it, fuck. God, you take it so good, Chris. Your ass is so greedy, baby. Oooh, keep going,” he breathes out, breaking a little, feeling his orgasm start to creep up on him. “Keep riding me like that.”

Circling his hips as he thrusts up, he feels Chris’s entire body tense and shudder as he changes the angle, the younger man letting out a high, keening moan. “Right there, right there,” he cries out, and Darren knows he’s slamming against Chris’s prostate, grinning wickedly as he holds his hips tightly, snapping his hips up fast and hard.

It happens so suddenly, Darren doesn’t even have time to prepare for it — one second, he’s thrusting hard into Chris; the next, Chris is tightening around him like a vise, gasping and whining and coming so hard that some of it gets on Darren’s face, a thin streak of it painting over his cheek and all down the front of his fuzzy red jacket and even on Chris’s chest as well. “Oh my god, oh my god, fuck,” Chris moans out loudly, his entire body trembling and shuddering as he starts to slump forward, breathing heavily as he slows himself, sitting in Darren’s lap. “Keep going,” he whimpers into Darren’s neck, panting hard. “Keep fucking me. I want you to come in me.”

Darren doesn’t hesitate, just keeps fucking up hard, but it only take a matter of seconds before his hips still and he’s coming hard inside of Chris, letting out loud groans as his orgasm washes over him. “Chris, oh my god, Chris,” he pants, his hips twitching up weakly as he finally slumps back, completely spent and wrecked, his heart pounding wildly.

They sit in silence for a minute, the sound of their heavy breathing filling the trailer, before Chris speaks up. “I came without you even touching me,” he whispers, and he sounds almost awed.

"I noticed that," Darren says, and he can’t keep the smirk out of his voice. "You came on my face without me even touching your dick. That’s… god, that’s fucking impressive.”

"Oh my god," Chris whimpers, his voice high and thin as he pulls back, inspecting the now drying streak of come over Darren’s face. "I so did not mean to do that." Darren just smacks a hand over his bare back, shaking his head, his eyes sparkling.

"Come on, you know how much I love having you come on my face," he says with a grin. "I just didn’t know you were capable of doing it with your cock so far away from me, shit. That’s so hot. Maybe we’ll have to test how far you can come."

"Stop," Chris groans with a laugh, burying his face into Darren’s neck. "You are so weird. You’re ruining the afterglow here." Darren shuts his mouth after that, rubbing Chris’s back gently as they breathe each other in, thankful that they waited until nearly everyone else had gone home to do this so they could bask in the afterglow, not having to rush to get dressed again.

"You also came all over my Santa outfit," Darren says cheerfully after a minute. "I’m telling you, I’m convinced you have a Santa fetish." Chris weakly pinches his arm in retaliation, sitting up a little and looking over Darren, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, and I also have a hobbit fetish because I have sex with you," he says dryly, which causes Darren to gasp, pressing a hand to his chest in shock. His hand presses right into the sticky come on the jacket, which makes him laugh, ruining the effect. With another roll of his eyes, Chris is standing, wincing a little as Darren slips out of him, walking naked across the trailer to search for some of his own clothes. Darren stares at his ass as he goes, biting his lip as he sees come running down the backs of his thighs, and his cock gives a weak little twitch at the sight.

"Let’s get home," he says suddenly, tucking himself back down into his pants and standing, peeling the come-stained jacket off in favor of a hoodie, which he tugs over his head, still wearing the Santa hat. Chris eyes him warily, pulling his underwear and a pair of jeans on, raising an eyebrow in question. "Well," Darren starts, a smirk growing on his face. "You see, I do have a Santa fetish and I was thinking maybe we could explore that.”

"Oh, you were, huh?" Chris is smirking now as well, licking his lips.

"Yeah, I mean. I’m a naugh—"

"Ah, ah, ah," Chris interjects, shaking his head no after he tugs a shirt on, walking up to Darren and pulling the hat off of his head, putting it on his own. "Santa doesn’t want to know whether you’re naughty or nice until you’re in his lap." Darren swallows hard, staring at Chris with dark eyes, already feeling himself starting to get hard again. He nods quickly, obediently, and Chris smirks slowly. "And then maybe you can take a nice ride on his sleigh."

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